But what will people think? Why this shouldn't stop you.

Photo - Annie Spratt

By Nicky Williams

18th Jan 2020

How many times do you have an idea, or really want to try something - only to end up shelving it because you’re worried what people will think?

Even though the idea excited you, it gave you a buzz and put a smile on your face; you let your imagination wander to new possibilities - in your mind a familiar script played out:

‘What if people think my idea is stupid and laugh?’

‘What if they talk about me behind my back?'

'I might fail and look stupid, I don’t think I’ll even try”

‘Gloria Goldpants is doing something similar, I could never be like her, what was I even thinking?’

So you don’t try

You give up before you’ve started.

I know how hard it is to try something new when you’re scared. For the life of me I NEVER thought I could write blogs or articles and share them with the world!

I knew I loved writing; I knew it was something I wanted to do. But still I didn’t do it.

The thought of publicly sharing anything I wrote terrified me.

And to be honest the thoughts that scared me the most related to what people would think; and especially what they would think if I failed because my writing was actually God awful.

The thoughts going back and forth in my mind went something like this:

‘But what will people think?'

'But what if my writing is actually terrible and I’m just plain delusional thinking I could do this?'

'But there are so many people already doing amazing blogs - I’m not good enough'

'They will definitely be talking about me behind my back, laughing and telling everyone how self-absorbed and clearly clueless I am'

The thoughts went on and on, and round and round in my head.

But I pushed through them and made myself do it because I loved it. And that was more important than what someone else may or may not think.

Photo - Felicia Buitenwerf

Maybe you’ve tried, or you’ve begun by sharing your idea with someone else but you didn’t get a great response, so you stopped?

Sometimes it feels easier to stop, to fall back into what you know, the comfort of not being vulnerable, the comfort of not pushing past the fear and trying that thing.

Sometimes it feels easier to fall back into the comfort of the familiar - like snuggling down onto the safety of the couch with your favourite warm blankie.

BUT

You’re left wandering what could have been.

What if you did try?

What if you pushed past the fear of how you think you’ll look?

What if you pushed past the fear of what Gloria Goldpants might say?

What if you gave it a shot?

What if it turned out that you loved it just as much as your favourite blankie?

What if the reality was that people were talking about you - but they were talking about how courageous you were for giving it a crack?

Growth comes with being vulnerable, with trying new things, with backing yourself and having a go. With messing up and trying again. It’s not easy. It’s scary and it’s new, but for me it’s been so freeing to do what I love. To show the world who I am.

Yes, I still get scared every single time I share a blog or an article. But I don't let that fear stop me. I keep going.

Sometimes I don’t feel like it, sometimes my imposter syndrome gets too much. Sometimes my writing is crap, sometimes it’ average, sometimes it’s good. But the more I do it, the more I love it and the more I learn.

Whatever you do - you can’t control what others think and fear of what they may or may not think or say shouldn’t stop you living your life.

My biggest piece of advice to you is 'just go for it'! You'll be amazed at how much it'll change your life.

A quote that really helped me:

“The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think.”

― David Icke

Don’t lock yourself in that prison. Show the world who you are, show yourself who you are.

I realise how lucky I am to have 'Get Off The Bench' expert Kerryn Vaughan at my fingertips. She showed me how to silence my fears and find the courage to push past them and do it anyway. Now I just do it because I love it. And I love the excited squeals I hear from her office every time she shows someone else how to unlock their magic.

Thank you to everyone who comments and shares my blogs. Thank you to everyone who sends me messages and tells me that you get something out them. I started writing because I wanted to share stories that helped people feel less alone. And the surprising thing is - your comments have actually made me feel less alone.

So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Love, Nicky xx

Nicky Williams is the co-founder of Girls With Hammers and a freelance writer.

Refs: David Icke, Harvard Business Review - imposter syndrome, Get Off The Bench, Kerryn Vaughan