All we need is love
By Kerryn Vaughan
18th March 2021
Have you ever had a conversation with somebody and been compelled to say ‘I love you’, even though you knew it was unprofessional?
I have that urge almost every day, and often I do it.
So many people, especially on LinkedIn, show their strong, serious, professional side and believe that’s how you show confidence and competence. I strongly disagree. And yes, I will post this on LinkedIn, and yes, I know it will offend some people.
Where did we learn to be hard nosed and come to believe that the serious non-smile equates to competence? And why didn’t we learn that warmth and vulnerability earns far more trust and respect?
We have lost sight of the fact that humans with feelings and emotions and loved ones and lives lived, are our greatest asset and our greatest allies.
This saddens me.
At the end of our lives, our smart suit, professionally bound proposal, and results and metrics won’t be the measure of us. How we built relationships, showed compassion, and supported each other to have a life focused on wellbeing is what will matter.
And the end is unavoidable - we are all heading in the same direction whether we like it or not!
Today I chatted with Danielle McAlpine Johnson as I interviewed her for my podcast. We shared tears for the lives that have been torn apart in East Gippsland, and we openly shared a mutual love and respect for each other because we each care so deeply for kindness and a better world.
This doesn’t make us unprofessional or weak. This makes us strong and compassionate and invested in the lives around us. We cheer for others and celebrate when they have wins. This is what the world needs more of.
Tonight as I write this, my heart is breaking. Tomorrow my beautiful pet cow, Gemma is going to heaven after a long battle with an infected udder. We tried over and over to make things better for her but her we couldn’t succeed.
I have faced comments like:
Oh well, she’s only a cow
Oh well, most cows don’t live this long
Oh well, she’s lucky she’s not mine, I would have sent her to the knackery long ago
Oh well, another can of dog food
The list goes on, and ‘oh well’ doesn’t cut it.
She’s not just a cow, she’s not dog food, she’s not a ‘thing’ who’s lucky she got to live longer than the average 6 years cows are ‘allowed’ to live because beyond that they provide no value.
She’s my beloved pet who I have loved, cuddled, and nurtured for the past 14 years. She is a living being who has the kindest heart and the sweetest nature. She cries, she relishes in the company of her best friend Jen, and she rushes over to me for cuddles.
She closes her eyes and makes little sounds as she places her ear near my mouth so I can whisper to her. I love her and I will miss her, and she deserves better than the comments above.
So do many humans who we overlook because we are too busy being ‘professional’ and placing far too much value in our appearances.
No, I’m not saying all these things because I’m feeling over-emotional. I’m saying all these things because they are true and always on my mind. Tonight I just felt like it was time these things were laid on the table to resonate with who they will, and to offend who they will.
We are not moving fast enough in the direction of compassion - for animals, the planet, and humanity. We must stop the fakeness and the toughness and start being and showing who we were born to be.
Great leaders are already plugged into this, and we need more great leaders. Kindness is not weakness, vulnerability is not submissive.
Every day we have a choice to lead this world to a better place, and every day we have a choice to be authentic. I choose to do both with pride.
“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope some day you’ll join us, and the world will be as one.” ~ John Lennon
Kerryn Vaughan is the author of ‘Magnificent Kids!’ and ‘Get Off The Bench!’, founder of One Planet Classrooms, co-founder of Girls With Hammers, and host of Get Off The Bench Podcast.
Kerryn is also a DISC ADVANCED® accredited consultant.